On its face, this is a constructive activity—I’m feeding myself, absorbed in the Clemente Born 21 I was born to play baseball shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this tasks of chopping, peeling, blending, and baking. But with the now seemingly infinite space in my mind, I’m also falling into a dangerously familiar rut. Even as I foray into new frontiers of cuisine—maybe I’ll try a braise this week, or even attempt fermentation—I find myself looking for dishes with as few calories involved as possible, logging everything I do eat in a weight-loss app, and, most significantly, daydreaming about shedding pounds.
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